Morning trouble

A cat is meowing, incessantly, directly into my ear. It wants something from me. I try to understand what. It indicates the pile of books I’ve got in the bath tub. I hand it a small paperback, after which it remains silent for about five minutes. Then it comes back, and it starts once more to meow at me. However, upon closer inspection, I discover it’s not actually a cat: it’s my flatmate with a large salmon in his hands. We decide to microwave the fish, and when it’s done, the microwave goes BEEP BEEP BEEP – I quickly turn it off, and we eat the fish. These and more delusions keep me busy until about 7:25am, when I finally realise that there are no cats or microwaves, it’s actually my phone alarm ringing, I’ve overslept once again, and I now have about 5 minutes until I need to leave, or possibly 15 minutes, but in that case I will have to run to school and I will arrive sweaty.

Mornings are a very difficult time for me. It’s not like I don’t want to get up, it’s just that I seriously don’t realise what’s going on. I simply don’t recognise the alarm as anything I need to deal with, and so my brain sends my completely independent arm to turn it off – snooze if I’m lucky, off off if I’m not. Which is a pain, because on the rare occasions that I do manage to get up on time, my whole day is better. I start with a nice breakfast, a coffee, a leisurely bike ride to work… It’s the best, but it’s very rare.

Seeing as I hate starting the day without breakfast, I decided that I needed to make flapjacks. They’re full of energy and they’re ready to eat as they are – not even a bowl of cereals is put together that quickly. They’re not exactly healthy, but it’s better than nothing. Plus, I made mine out of muesli, nuts and dried fruit, which means that at least there’s some sort of nutritional value in them. The butter, sugar and honey that holds them together is unavoidable, so we’ll just have to get over that.

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For 5 flapjacks, or a week’s worth of breakfast for 1, use:

  • 250 gr muesli
  • 100 gr butter
  • 100 gr sugar (demerara, in my case, but whatever)
  • 3 tbsp honey
  • a decent pinch of salt
  • a handful of extra seeds, if you like – I used pumpkin and sunflower


  • a loaf tin
  • some baking parchment

Preheat the oven to 160 degrees. Melt the butter, sugar and honey together. Stir well. Add the muesli and the nuts, stir well.

Line the loaf tin with some baking parchment, then pour in the muesli mixture and press it down firmly with the back of a spoon. Now shove it in the oven for about 20 minutes.


Don’t be weirded out when you pull it out and it’s still completely liquid – that’s normal. What you do is, you leave it for about 20 more minutes, then pull it out of the tin by the baking parchment. Now cut it, using a very sharp knife, into the desired number of pieces – five in my case. Put these pieces in the fridge to harden up. Then keep them in a cookie tin or, if you don’t have one, a tupperware. Have them in the morning with copious amounts of coffee whilst you have your 2 minute breakfast relax session.

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2 Responses to Morning trouble

  1. Trui says:

    Ze zien er echt wel lekker uit, maar dat ze minder tijd kosten dan een kommetje muesli met yoghurt kan ik moeilijk geloven. Ik blijf bij mijn anderhalf sneetje brood met water (het lijkt de lik wel!) en kopje koffie na. Met de krant erbij. Na het lezen van de krant is de fietsrit naar het werk sereen en vredig.


  2. Ja, ik bedoelde natuurlijk niet het bereiden, maar het ‘s morgens tevoorschijn halen en opeten! Blijf jij maar bij je petoetdiëet, al die suiker is helemaal niet goed voor de mens.


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