Monthly Archives: July 2014

The Parisian scoop that wasn’t

Things don’t always turn out as you hoped, planned or wished. You might plan to have that left-over stir-fry for lunch, only to discover your flatmate got to it drunk the night before. You might want to use the last … Continue reading

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Italian for beginners

Italian has a bunch of boobytraps to trick unsuspecting foreigners like myself into making massive twats out of themselves. For instance, a lot of words will come in twin pairs: one masculine version, often ending in -o, and one feminine … Continue reading

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My exciting new life as a boring adult

Since last September I’ve been a serious adult with a job. I’m really enjoying it, I have to say. It’s nice to have money to spend that’s actually yours and not your parents’ or student loans’. It’s nice to tell … Continue reading

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And the Lord spoketh, “go forth, and copulate with thouself, for my wrath is upon thee”

Isaiah 24:3 And the lord saith, “Let there be a deluge, and let my aqueous fury pour down unto Turin, and let it smite the Turinese, for they have roused my anger. Isaiah 24:4 And the lord senteth down his … Continue reading

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“I was such a loser before my rise to dictatorship”

You know how you always think that the you of a few years back was such a loser? Like when you look at pictures of yourself from ten years ago, and you think “Oh God, did I actually wear that … Continue reading

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