Vegetarian rabbit

Animals are just the best, aren’t they? I love animals. They’re adorable and funny and entertaining and often they’re pretty clever. This is why I feel slightly guilty about eating them. What can I say, I love cuddling fluffy bunnies and I love putting them in my mouth. Not whilst they’re still fluffy, of course, that would be weird. After the fluffiness has been removed, I mean. Cooked in a Flemish rabbit stew with prunes, or a Ligurian stew with olives. Delicious.

For some reason I feel infinitely inferior to vegetarians. It might be because I currently seem to lack the self-discipline to lead a vegetarian lifestyle, or it could just be a consequence of living in Scotland for years – the Scots do self-deprecation and inferiority complexes like no other nation I’ve ever encountered. All of my vegetarian friends are of the super relaxed, non-preachy type, so they’ve certainly never done anything to instil these feelings in me, but there you go, they’re here anyway.

So we’ll go for a compromise this week. Rabbit, without killing any bunnies. You see, I bought this bunny-shaped cake tin the other day, and now I can stuff my face with bunnies without any feelings of fuilt. Awesome! I wanted to make this one a carrot cake, you know, what with the bunny and all, but carrot cake is on the blog already, so instead we’re having walnut coffee chocolate cake!

Yeeeaaaaah that's right, eat my delicious cake. I love you, honey bunny. (And I love you, pumpkin.)

For one bunny-sized cake, use:

  • 150 gr flour
  • 150 gr cane sugar (demerara in my case)
  • 200 gr soft butter
  • 3 eggs
  • 50 gr cocoa powder (unsweetened!)
  • 1 shot glass of coffee that you made with that caffettiera I told you ages ago to buy
  • 1 sachet (or 16 gr) of baking powder – equivalent to a couple of tsp, I think
  • a good handful of walnut, chopped into different sizes of chunks
  • optionally, a handful of chopped chocolate

For the creamy creamness that you’re going to cover it with, you will need:

  • 250 gr of mascarpone
  • half a shot glass of coffee
  • 2 tbsp of cane sugar

Take your butter out of the fridge if you haven’t already done so. It needs to be soft to work with. At this stage I just chuck all of my ingredients in together, bar the coffee, walnuts and chocolate if using. Use an electric whisk to mix it all up so that it becomes a pretty smooth mass of delicious. Now add in your coffee, then, when the batter is a bit more liquid, spoon in your walnuts as well.

Grab your bunny cake tin, or whatever cake tin you’re using (although I do strongly recommend an animal-shaped one). If it’s a funky shape, be generous with the butter or oil that you’re going to put in now to grease it up – extremities like ears noses can easily get stuck, and you want your animal to come out all in one piece.

Once you’ve greased up your bunny, scoop in the mixture. If you’re adding chunks of chocolate, scoop in half of the mixture first, scatter the chunks somewhere in the middle, then add the rest of the dough – this to prevent the chocolate from getting stuck and burning on the side of the tin.

Now shove it in the oven for about 40 minutes. A knife or skewer should come out clean (but try to stab it in a strategic place because it feels kinda soul crushing to stab your bunny in the heart repeatedly).

Right, that’s the first part down. Now let your bunny cool somewhere. In the meantime, grab your mascarpone, chuck in the sugar and coffee and now mix that bitch up. At this stage you can feel absolutely free to add in alcohol, where I would strongly suggest you use nocino, if you happen to have any, or otherwise possibly Kahlua or even, why not, Bailey’s! Booze it up, dear fellow alchies, booze it up.

Cover your bunny with cream. This is a lot trickier than it seems, so take a deep breath and then try throwing little blobs of cream onto to bunny, which you then spread out evenly, whilst continuing to breathe calmly.

As the finishing touch, sprinkle some walnuts and (grated) chocolate on top of the bunny. Eat!

Little bunny foo foo humpin' through the forest scoopin' up the fieldmice and boppin' them on the head! Then came the good fairy and the good fairy said: little bunny foo foo I don't wanna see you scoopin' up the fieldmice and boppin' them on the head.

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